Posted on 1.20.23

Hey Turds! We are so excited for the start of this year. 2022 certainly had its ups and downs, but most importantly it brought us incredible new additions to the team. Hannah and Sarah have quickly become part of the fun…if not a little peculiar…culture of Liberty Barbers. Our customers have quickly realized their talent too!

The hair industry is funny in that people often become very attached to the person who cleans up their lovely locks. It can be a sensitive and personal experience. Our longtime clients sometimes express guilt or discomfort when they start seeing new team members instead of Chris, but we highly encourage you to book with Hannah and Sarah! Not only does it contribute to their financial well-being and professional development, but it ensures that Liberty Barbers will continue to thrive and serve its community! So please, recommend them to your friends, family, and coworkers!

We have a lot of important information in this issue of the Polished Turd. Before we get to that, we want to express our love and gratitude for our Liberty Barbers community. Let’s make our fifth year in business our best one yet!


Jenny Update…many of you may already know that Jenny is having surgery on January 31, and she’ll be home for about 2 weeks recovering. During this time please be patient with the team as they attempt to fill her very large shoes!

Shreduary…that’s right bros…January and February have been combined into one grueling month of getting our shit together. The Liberty Barbers team is “dedicated” to moving more and fueling our bods with healthy food. So why don’t you put down that beer and king cake and join the effort! Blah, blah, blah, it’s carnival season. Drop and give us 20!

Google Reviews…a great way to encourage potential new customers to book with Hannah and Sarah is to leave them a 5-star review on Google! Help us get to 100 reviews by the end of the year!

New Art Installation…do you know any local artists? We’re looking to line up artists for our Spring and Summer installations! We never take a commission if artists sell their work. Anyone who is interested can email

Employee of the Month…clearly you haven’t been paying attention. It’s Moxie 4-eva and always #moxiestyle. 

Gripes…why are mattresses only one sided? For the majority of my life, they have been two. Has there been such quantum advances in the field of mattresses that would render only one side obsolete? Definitely not. The mattress is one of the most expensive disappointments in my adult life. They cannot live up to the expectation of the buyer almost immediately leaving the consumer with the distinct impression that they got robbed.  They do not hold their original firmness; a divot is created and that’s where I sleep until I find the divot intolerable. They don’t make two sided mattresses because they just want you to buy another one as soon as possible.

Big Mattress wins again. Chasing the elusive sleep dragon, this industry has weaponized a human desire to be productive by selling inferior products and creating an industry that feeds on a form of addiction (getting a good night’s sleep). I feel like I’m just another idiot willing to spend anything to finally get a good night’s sleep. I think I’d rather sleep on a mat on the floor. Next time I’m buying a mat.